Circle of Life.

From giving a lecture on asthma to medical students, to observing two c-sections, to grieving through Jypthi's death, it has been quite a week!!

I never thought of myself as the teaching type, but as it turns out I really enjoyed it. Who knows, maybe I will even consider Academic Medicine one day?! I tried to make the lecture interactive and at the end I had them to case studies to make sure they understood the material. I got feedback from my teacher that they really enjoyed the class, so I am glad that the students actually learned something!

Tuesday was a difficult day. Jyothi had been fighting for her life for the past week and there was a glimpse of hope after the neurosurgery that she would make it. But unfortunately, her frail body could not handle it and she past away from respiratory failure. It was hard seeing the look in her parents' eyes when they realized our recusitation efforts proved futile. It is also hard to swallow that Jyothi could have been saved if her parents had the income to send her to a private hospital or if she had her care in the United States.

When children die before their parents, it seems like an unnatural process to me. No parent should have to feel that pain. When a parent loses their child simply because of money, it is even harder to process. I wish health was a human right here in India. Seeing all the divisions based on caste, income, just seems unnecessary..... Atleast in the states we try our absolute best to save a kid before we think of payment. Here is it payment before treatment which often feels inhumane.

Live well, lose well. That is what we learned in Arizona. The process of life and death is something I have been thinking about more lately. The only thing we know for certain when we are born is that we are going to die one day, and we can only pray that it is a painless and spiritual process. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid to die before my time. I guess that's normal and should force me to live every day in the present as it if was a real gift from God.

After Jypthi's death I was able to attend two c-sestions and see the birth of two new souls enter the world! What an occasion it is to have a baby see your face as his/her first introduction into this universe. Their tiny, eyes, nose, fingers, and toes are all so precious. They are so innocent and untainted from this world we live in. It is hard to fathom that one day their minds will become full of judgement and they will soon come to find out if they are rich or poor, hindu or muslim, black or white. In the beginning none of this characterization seems to matter, so why does it make a difference as we age?

I definitely don't have the answers to these questions. India makes me believe more in karma, dharma, and reincarnation even though it has never made much sense to me. But it is hard to justify why someone has to have their child taken away because of the price of healthcare and not because of the severity of the disease. God can't be that cruel, but I just wish the pieces of this puzzle could make sense to me...

But then again, why some kids make it and others don't is still a mystery. Lucky (boy in pic) has typhoid fever and to be honest you would never know that he is sick. He is so active, and playful! Bhukmika (girl in pic) is malnourished and has hypothyroidism from iodine deficiency but is getting better each and every day. God does leave more kids behind then he takes back with him, and for that I am thankful.